The Super-Ffleck in Hollywoodland.

The world has collapsed into near chaos after the earth shattering announcement from Warner Bros. that Ben Affleck will play Batman in the Batman/ Superman "mash-up" movie. People have taken to Twitter, a website, as well as several other websites, and voiced unhappiness and anguish over the inevitable arrival of the "Batffleck".

Many people have pointed to the ill-fated Daredevil film made in 2003. Yes, that was a bad movie, but the main problem was the movie itself sucked. The real Daredevil could have starred in it and it would have still blown the proverbial chunks. Many people have also pointed to the film Phantoms (1998), to which he has mockingly been called "the bomb" by himself in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001). Again, the main problem was that Phantoms sucked, and yes, Affleck was admittedly horrific in it, but had it starred Matt Dillon or Matt Damon it still would have stunk up the bathroom.

Not the bomb.

And many people have pointed to Gigli (2003) with J Lo, and I have not seen this movie but it is common knowledge a root canal is more pleasurable and entertaining then this mockery of our senses.Still, other people have brought up the film Jersey Girl (2004), and that can be explained by the fact Kevin Smith made this movie. And others have pointed to Pearl Harbor (2001), the Michael Bay epic. Yes, he starred in that too.

Do you know when the next bus arrives?

However, many people have pointed out that he has not ruined his last couple movies simply by being in them, he even won an Oscar for directing Argo (2012). And also, let's not forget that Beetlejuice was cast as Batman in 1989. One could argue that Beetlejuice is awesome, even the bomb, but let's face it, he didn't seem to be a valid choice to play the Dark Knight, and yet he did a good job, especially as Batman himself. Plus Heath Ledger was frowned upon as the Joker initially, until people realized dude could play more then one character, like, he's an actor or something.

Woah, man.

Is Affleck an actor? A good enough actor to play Batman? He was sure funny as the stoned bartender/ drug dealer in Extract (2009). He played a good drinking/ fight buddy to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting (1997). Maybe this new Batman is stoned or drunk, or like an awkward jerk? Or maybe it will be like the internet cartoons where Batman and Superman sit in the cafe and talk about stuff? Idk man.

-Kris W.
 St. Johns, Kenton Videoramas

Since Hollywood is shuttling out the "Action President" movies Olympus Has Fallen (August 13th) and the seemingly identical White House Down (Sometime in October?) you might as well check out the Mother of all Die Hard President movies, Air Force One (1997), starring one Harrison Ford as the fantasy Uber-President and Gary Oldman as the evil terrorist.

Get off my family plane!

It basically is Die Hard* with the President. He kills them all and chucks them off his plane, telling them to "get off his plane". Talk about entitled sounding. How about get off OUR plane, we paid for the darn thing with our tax dollars pal.

Harrison Ford made a career out of saving his family- he has done this before in Patriot Games (1992), where he plays a government employee named Jack Ryan. He also did this recently in Firewall (2006), I think. Kinda missed that one.

I will have deep dish.

You know who has taken up the mantle of the Ford lately is Liam Neeson. Am I right?! If Taken (2008) were made in the 90's, it would've starred Ford. I mean, Taken was probably written in the 90's and got passed around coked up executives party mirrors for years before somebody awoke from a blackout and threw it into production. "Quick, make it quick! Teenage girls like U2 in this century! Enough to follow them around the world!!! THAT HAPPENS!!!"

=Kris W. @ Videorama St Johns and Kenton

* in case you don't know what 'Die Hard' is, it is a movie that you have not seen. Perhaps this is not your fault and you have no idea why this is a character flaw or personality weakness but in any case, we forgive you. As an institution that values it's clientele, we try to accommodate all types of people. Mood Stones are available for petting in the lobby. 

  August Releases

  8/6 OBLIVION (Tom Cruise), On The Road (Kristin Stewart, Amy Adams), The Place Beyond The Pines (Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper), Mud (Reese Witherspoon, Matthew McConaughey), Magic Magic (Michael Cera)

8/13 Olympus Has Fallen (Morgan Freeman, Gerard Butler), Hatchet 3

8/20 Amour (Michael Haneke), Epic (cgi), Scary Movie 5

8/27 The Great Gatsby (Leo), Pain and Gain (The Rock, Marky Mark, Sir Michael Bay)

They could still be underneath.

The world's first superhero flys back to the big screen June 14th, and his eyelazers will surely scorch the enemies of truth, justice and the American way, freeze-breathing anyone who dares to touch his special lady friend Lois Lane. That's right, a new attempt to revive the oldest school of comic book icons, Superman, is about to take place in Man of Steel - and the question on everyone's mind is: Will it be as good WITHOUT the red underpants on the outside?

Totally normal. On Krypton.

It's been a rough, long journey coming to terms with the realization that our beloved "Supes" would not be wearing his famous red briefs. I for one tend to think of myself as a positive thinker. Many assume that Supes will abandon the crimson speedo altogether. I am of the belief that Superman hasn't stopped wearing underwear. He simply wears them underneath his clothes, like everyone else on this planet.

Recent Releases:

Django Unchained ~ Revisionist history and revenge fantasy come to play again in Tarantino's latest.

John Dies At The End ~ From director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Bubba Ho-Tep) comes a movie that's sort of like Buckaroo Bonzai with some Ghostbusters thrown in, rub some Fight Club paste on and that's John Dies at The End.

Older Movies of Noteworthiness That Pertain To This Arcticle:

Superman III (1983) ~ In this bizarre Superman sequel, Richard Pryor plays a devious computer genius who creates Kryptonite from scratch-  well almost. Instead of weakening Supes, it causes him to stop shaving and become a mean drunk. He even....fornicates.

Bug (2006) ~ Michael Shannon will be going mono y mono with Supes in Man of Steel, but first watch his brand of cracked out crazy and evil in this Willam Friedkin (The Exorcist) directed film that plays like an adult after school special from Hell. It makes you realize that drugs can be really, really unhealthy.

-Kw

It is a glorious time to be anticipating the summer blockbuster, ESPECIALLY if your midi-chlorians are in a bunch over Tony Stark saving people getting sucked out the side of a 737 air ride controlled jet! My miniaturized arc reactor hums like a Denubian Slime Devil in heat!
As all of the worthy civilization is fully aware, Phase 2 of the Marvel Universe's diabolical plan for cinematic domination will be coming into play with Iron Man 3, directed by Holywood's former highest paid screenwriter and monk Shane Black! Myself in particular am quite ready to do a Special Edition Death Star explosion, shock rings and all- as a response to such news!


Shane Black....in Predator (1987)?

Need I explain further? Shane Black has only directed ONE other film besides the aforementioned Iron Man 3 and it is  Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is humorous and engaging (and available in Kris' Picks at St Johns Videorama). It stars Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer. And it is a violent mismatched buddy flick, so it's safe to say Shane Black is not straying too far from his magical witticisms.


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Historically noteworthy, Shane Black was famous for writing Lethal Weapon and other such classy films like The Last Boyscout and The Monster Squad - available at most or all FOUR of our wonderful locations!

= Kw

In previous weeks, an earth shattering announcement has been made, an announcement that has polarized fans in the Order of the Science Fiction and Fantastical Realm-Based literature. The announcement that J.J. Abrams is directing the new 'Star Wars' film. This is obviously extremely controversial due to the fact Abrams directed the hit 'Star Trek' reboot.

 As one fan in a ridiculous robe and false ears pointed out, it is heresy for a mortal human to direct both a Star Trek and a Star Wars film. The reason for this is obvious and there is no reason to bother discussing it.

What I propose is we stop fighting. Why can't we all just get along? Why must Punk hate Metal? Why must there be violence in the world and video games? I propose we have the franchises not only shake hands, but embrace in a chocolate mocha. Why not, instead of making seperate sequels, make one all encompassing sequel?

Yes, I'm saying it, because it'd be convenient and the darn thing writes itself-STAR TREK WARS!!!

Synopsis- "Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) returns with best buddy Spock (Vin Diesel, replacing Zachary Quinto as the newly resurrected cloned super cyborg Vulcan ((to be explained in Star Trek Into Darkness))) and the crew of the Enterprise where after a night of partying down with an illegal case of Romulan Ale, the hungover extreme space travellers fall into a 'wormhole' that sends them to a 'galaxy far, far away....

Now it's up to Captain Kirk and hilarious sidekick Wicket the Ewok (Warwick Davis) to spring Han Solo (Harrison Ford) from the retirement planet and get the midi-chlorians out of Darth Spock and back into Qui-Gon Jenni (Chloe Grace Mortez), the snarky savior of the Jedi, who wants to defy everyone and join Starfleet!"

New this week? Zero Dark Thirty (the heartwarming story of Bin Laden's bad day), and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, as well as Les Miserables. Don't want to spend piles of coin for a movie? Come in on Dollar Thursday. I mean, seriously. It's less. Much less.

Remade

"How much to add a third hand?"

Weary of remakes? Not so excited about a classic Schwarzenegger epic being reduced to a watered down PG-13, cgi filled  (don't forget the slow-mo) "reimagining" that features the actually really good Colin Farrell? I like the guy, but after Miami Vice, Fright Night, and now the upcoming (re-upcoming?) Total Recall (available at all Videoramas dec.18th), he's apparently Hollywood's go-to guy for starring in the already made.



"Me throw girl in water."

Well, I hate to say this but it's really nothing new. Since the dawn of movies, the same idea has been re-used and recycled and re-tuned into the same old story that gets regurgitated into different shapes and sizes, which is how we get different shaped Frankenstein's Monsters heads.





"You talkin to me?!"

The first version of Mary Shelly's classic tale of science gone mad was made in 1910, produced by Thomas Edison and featured a very unframiliar version of the Creature, which resembled The Hunchback more then anything made by Dr. Frankenstein. Kind of looks like his malformed assistant. You know, the dude who stole the wrong brain?

Charles Ogle as The Monster.



           Some people are balking at the upcoming Sam Raimi directed Oz: The Great and Powerful, yet the 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz, the classic we all know and love was actually the 3rd version of that story. The original was made in 1910. I mean, I guess a case could be made about these movies being based of novels, which kind of brings up the argument that it's a story written for a different medium, thereby giving different filmmakers lisence to interpret the material in their own way.

But how many times has the same story been retold and retold in a mirror effect like when you look in a mirror with a mirror behind you and the Mirror People are inside whispering to you about invisible children in the walls? You know what I mean? Guys?......*echo

CONTINUED IN PART 2!! Coming soon!!!!

Oscar Predictions for the Final Year of 2012

The pieces are in place for Oscar at Videorama, we have special sections for past winners of the coveted Best Picture category set up at the Lombard and St. Johns locations. That's right, this year the aging (or some might say decaying) dinosaur known as "Oscar" hits the stage on our television sets for the 84th time. It sounds like they're going at it from a whole new angle: Billy Crystal is hosting again,

though whether or not he is actually a human is up for debate. Is he an android? A melting clone? Well, undead vampire seems just as likely. But I kid! Of course then there's the nominations. Best Picture nominees include a Steven Spielberg film! a Woody Allen film! a Martin Scorsese FAMILY film (??!?), while George Clooney and Brad Pitt are up for Best Actors (NO WAY!) and Glenn Close and Meryl Streep are both up for Best Actress (anyone else get them confused with each other?).

Well if it sounds like this years Academy Awards will be another self congratulatory name dropping has been schmooze fest, I might suggest you head down to the nearest Videorama and rent something that is awesome, and perhaps overlooked by this so-called DECIDER of what is an award winning performance! Dennis Hopper in David Lynch's Blue Velvet (found in Kristopher's Picks at the St. Johns location) is commonly known as one of the greatest overlooked performances of the last century. Who could forget the huffing, puffing, cursing lunatic known as Frank that he portrays? Or the tortured genius of Robocop, the cyborg-cop epic directed by Paul Verhoeven and starring Peter Weller (which happens to feature that one guy from ER melting!)? Or maybe you wanna go the way of the renter who wants to see the past winners, like Tommy Lee Jones in his Best Supporting Actor performance in The Fugitive! I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE!!!! * Harrison Ford growling.

You might as well rent 4 previous winners if you're looking to save money, it's still rent 3 get a 4th one free on everything but New Releases at the St. Johns and N. Lombard locations, and New Releases are still $2 for overnight. As for the Best Picture nominations, I kind of think that the Academy is going to decide that it's been a while since Woody Allen has won anything, they like to decide when "it's time" for certain people. I think it's too bad they don't like movies pertaining to outerspace or other dimensions. When has a movie about goblins from outerspace won anything other then Best Visual Effects?!?! Exactly!!